i don’t know who i am but i know who i am not…
it might be all i have - at least it’s a start…
more than most have got.
wake up - start to rise.
push through. there’s so much more inside.

whatever you want
you will receive…
so long as your belief in the favorable outcome does not wavier.

stay strong.

Maybe some day I won’t walk alone
Where the skys stars are shining bright
It doesn’t mean I won’t follow the sun that’s falling down
Even thou we all might be in the dark and fallen now

Your warmth, your light, and this life
It’s the journey into one heart

other than “    ” everything below is as stated above.

i am lost broken down defeated feeble and weak
seething with unending degenerate strength

you are my confidant - you lift me up and pull me to my feet
who would i be without you here keeping my self-told lies alive
at a standstill then finally take a step in finding what i’ve been missing all along
maybe in leaving - you’d set me free…
but i dont want that
no, i want this life

even if it’s full of struggles, pains, and strife
don’t help bring me to another way
you can’t
because i just look to you - the missing key, my vitality

please don’t let me be, give and give and give more more more to me
just keep feedingfeedingfeeding and feeding me
lulled to sleep - keep feeding me
your the sustaining core i so desperately need
you allow me to continue on here alive pulling my way through the mud
your charity is the life of me
with it - i’ll never break free

The tough times and challenges we meet are here as oppertunities for us to prove our true capacity… To expand our abilities and infinatly travel forward on our never ending limitless journey of creation.

Never doubt your ability.
Never doubt your capacity.

your eyes
yeah, your eyes
and in mine
yeah, my eyes
i see your there

my arms
yeah, my arms
are spread out wide
and as the sun
kisses the golden hills
it says to me,
you’re never alone

so open up
and say yes
to love
stop holding back
just let it down
just let it go
open up
and say yes
to love

in your eyes
i see it
and in my heart
is a worn out door

open up
and ill be there
waiting and never alone

no self imposed restrictions of delusional limitation.

So… as of tomorrow, I am embarking on a little cathartic journey of sorts.
A time for self-reflection, inner being, and deepening present moment awareness.

First, for 3 days I will be living as a monk at a Buddhist Monastery.
A part of that means waking up at 5:00am. Oh, joy. Some vacation hey?
Activities include walking meditation, mindfulness, and group conversations.

Next I will be driving up the coast to Percadero. I will be staying in a light house for the night.

I’ll be bringing my guitar and look forward to playing in this thing during the middle of the night.

Next I will be going out of this state, into Oregon, and then up onto Washington state.

My parents live up there for half of the year. They have a like named after me. A dog. A house. A fish pond. A whole bunch of evergreen trees. When I was in my early teenage years my dad built a house by himself out here in California. I never helped him and rather opted to always smoke weed, drink in excess, and do other extracurricular activities.

So… now, my pops… (who is pushing 60 years old) is up there building a little studio apartment home. I’m taking this as my chance to go up there and do something I should have ten years ago. Time to roll up the sleeves, get some mud on the hands, and pound some nails. It feels good to do the right thing.

My folks have no idea that I’m taking a week off work and driving up there. They’re going to be so shocked it’ll be priceless.

On the way back I’m going to be stoping back in at the lighthouse for the night and hope to meet a very close friend that lives far away from me… close in heart but far in location. Word.

I have no idea what awaits… catharsis ahead.